Betting on Yourself

Things are moving right now, and while that’s exciting, if I’m being honest, it’s a little uncomfortable too.

It’s the kind of momentum you work for, but once it hits, it doesn’t really slow down so you can take it in. It just keeps going, and if I’m not intentional about it, I’ll move right past it onto the next thing like I always do.

As an entrepreneur, there’s always something to fix, something to figure out, something to improve, and I don’t naturally stop and look around.

When I look back, my journey didn't start in a way that would’ve impressed anyone.

It was messy and it was a lot of figuring things out in real time and hoping it worked.

I didn’t start my first business until I was 33. I used a $1000 loan from our family savings and remember having $11 left in the account before my first market. That business ended up funding the next one. I started The Collective at 35, Farmed & Forged at 40, then a nonprofit at 41 built around everything I believed business should actually do.

No investors, no debt, just a decision to try and keep going.

At no point have I felt like I have it figured out, but I just kept going regardless.

When people talk about “betting on yourself,” it seems like it’s this big, bold declaration where everything changes, but that’s not how it’s played out for me.

It looks more like making the same decision over and over again, especially when things don’t go how you thought they would. It’s putting time, money, and energy into something that hasn’t proven itself yet, making tons of mistakes and trusting that you’ll figure it out as you go.

There were a lot of moments where it would’ve been easier to choose something stable and predictable where I could clock out at the end of the day and not carry it with me constantly.

But I didn’t. And the truth is, the hardest seasons are the ones that showed me the most, that I could handle more than I thought, and that I was building something worth sticking with.

When you’re in the middle of it, it doesn’t feel like growth, it feels like pressure. It feels like constantly making decisions, adjusting, failing, and trying to stay one step ahead of what’s coming next. Some days it feels like you’re carrying more than you’re supposed to, and you’re just hoping you don’t drop it.

I’ve spent a lot of time in that space, just moving, fixing, building, without really stopping long enough to see what’s actually happening. But when I do stop, even briefly, I can see it differently now. I can see the decisions that mattered, the risks that actually changed things, and the moments where I kept showing up instead of walking away.

That’s where the growth is. Not in the highlight moments where you’re winning, but in the ones where you had every reason to stop and didn’t.

When I look back, I don’t just see what I built. I see who showed up along the way.

The people that gave me an opportunity, my team that showed up, the businesses that trusted us early, the vendors who said yes before things were fully built, and the community that formed around what we are doing. 

Since 2019, we’ve put over $50,000 back into local nonprofits, we’ve helped generate more than $45,000 in SNAP benefits that directly support local farmers and food producers and we’ve created space for hundreds of small business owners to grow something of their own.

That’s the part that matters most to me. Neither The Collective or Farmed & Forged were ever just about building something for myself. It was about creating something that actually does something for other people.

I’m still building, figuring things out, taking risks, and learning as I go. The difference now is that I understand there’s no perfect timing or moment where you suddenly feel like you’ve got it all figured out. It’s just showing up for yourself and your work over and over again, even when it’s hard and would be easier not to.

If you’re in a season where things feel messy or uncertain, and you’re not sure if what you’re doing is actually working, take a second and look back.

Not to get stuck there, but to remind yourself what you’ve already done. It’s easy to convince yourself you’re not far along when you’re focused on what’s next. But if you actually look, you’ll probably realize you’ve built more than you give yourself credit for.

-Mandy